Tuesday, 19 February 2013

The Amazing lake

TITLE:The amazing lake!!!


Purpose: To recount our experiences.
Audience: Readers of my blog, students and teachers at PES.

The lake has got a lot of rubbish in it and the water is green.The smell was revolting like B.O.It was not nice.We do not like going past it because it smells.The lakes very calm and there are no waves.There are heaps of branches in the lake.The lake is really deep so ducks can swim in it.The lake is murky too.The thing that I noticed is that the water has shadows of us in it and it reflects off the sun.On the bright side at least the ducks are having fun swimming away.

Is  My Writing Effective?
Are my paragraph/s about one MAIN idea?yes!
Do my paragraph/s have more than one sentence?  (usually 2-4)yes!
Are the sentences connected and build up the MAIN idea?yes!
Do my sentences in my paragraphs begin in different ways?yes!
Are the sentences varied?  e.g. in length, in complexityyes!
Have I used different types of sentences?   e.g Statements(.) Questions(?) Exclamations(!) OR Speech (“ “)No!
Have I carefully chosen words/vocabulary in my sentences?Yes!
Do my sentences and paragraphs meet the purpose?yes!
Do my sentences/paragraphs appeal to the reader/audience?

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